Romeo: Great Balcony - no stamina

I realize frenchi was Romeo to me and that his Romeo met my Juliette in ways quite delicious.  I also realize that who I fell in love with was me.  He said many wonderful, seemingly sincere things about me and I fell...for myself.  Who doesn't love hearing wonderful things said about them? How often do we miss hearing someone tell us how "exceptional" we are.  We don't get it as much as we crave it, so when someone says what you long to hear and then throws in some "I want to care for you forever" talk, you're a goner.

My heartbreak isn't over frenchi, it's about feeling like I've lost myself.  It's like feeling all the good things about myself have been taken away because I'm not getting them reflected back to me any longer.  It makes it seem like I've become unacceptable and am no longer lovable.  I now realize there never was any love for me.  It's not that anything has changed about me, it was just about how he works things to get some needs of his met.  When things got to a place where more emotional connection was required (i.e. him sharing more than the surface platitudes) he bailed in need of more conquests and more excitement.

There is nothing I can do that will make him realize he missed out on something good. He will continue this pattern with others and he will leave women wondering what is wrong with them.  I have forgiven myself for not recognizing things earlier, I understand now that I just needed a good dose of self love and can do that without someone feeding me my own worth (and then taking it away).

I'm supposed to see him in a week or so and will now be able to look him in the face and ask for money for my trailer and say goodbye without crying.  The things I missed had nothing to do with him, they had to do with my own missing pieces.  I am not shattered, or broken, I don't need to reflect back his actions against myself.  I like who I am and his words just resonated as truth - I can keep that - even without him.

The end of Frenchi