Friday, January 20, 2012

Female masturbation and the bible

Just in:
Female masturbation is biblical - men's is not.  They spill seed and waste it, women don't do anything to affect our fertility.

Sermon on the Mound:

Women though shalt use your vibrators

15 comments:

Rebekah said...

Amen. :)

Rebekah said...

Except I've never even seen a vibrator in real life, so it goes without saying I don't use them.

I think I've said too much. :(

David said...

I believe some of these devices are manufactured by large companies...Hitachi, maybe?...so that implies that they have product managers, and marketing plans, and all the usual.

Can you imaging the discussions about "market segmentation" and "customer satisfaction"?

Nestorius said...

"They spill seed and waste it"

Women should take care of this problem by not letting the seed be wasted. At least, the benefit and pleasure is mutual.

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Anonymous said...

:) :)

Sex, Lies and Attempts at Truth said...

Okay I confess I have one. It's the cutest thing ever! It's green and has a cute face like a dragon. Now Rebekah I"VE said too much! ;)

Sex, Lies and Attempts at Truth said...

I agree Nestorius, but don't men do this when women aren't around - hence the sin.

Rebekah said...

Vibrators are battery operated, right? I wonder what the chance of any malfunction is? I have the same thought when drying my hair with a hair dryer. Like what if a spring is propelled out of it and gets lodged in my head...

Peregrine John said...

The biological misunderstanding inherent in such a dictum (heh heh. dick tomb. heh heh. ahem.) is remarkable. To "not waste", any functional man could in theory repopulate the planet in fairly short order.

Fortunately, the sin of Onan wasn't the "spillage" but... not knocking up his brother's wife. So... yeah, you can go down that path as far as you like, really.

Nestorius said...

Aefoe,
Yeah, but haven't you forgoten why men do this when women aren't around? Because in most cases they don't want to be around.

Firepower said...

sermon on the mons veneris
lol, ya know most of us
got your little joke

Sex, Lies and Attempts at Truth said...

Nestorius, do you mean men don't want to be around women, or the other way round?

Sex, Lies and Attempts at Truth said...

FP - Thanks for getting it!

Nestorius said...

Women don't want to be around men.